Feeling Old…

I’m not old.

That’s what I keep telling myself. How can I be old? My memories seem fresh and vivid. I clearly remember my 21^st birthday…well… okay, bad example. But I do remember being 21 and it quite literally feels like just few years ago. Of course I also remember being 31 and 41, so this gets a little confusing.

So I am old. Crap. What the hell happened? 

This is an enigma of life and a never-ending dialogue from one generation to the next. Just reading this post, a generation younger (my sons) won’t really understand it. And a generation older (my mom and her sisters) will laugh because they have been trying to convey it to me for years. But they shouldn’t laugh too hard because the generation ahead of them is howling! And on it goes.

But it occurs to me that you never feel old all at once, it’s a myriad of little things that brings you to the eventual realization that you are Danny Glover’s Roger Murtaugh and that you are indeed “too old for this s***.”

Here are some instances in my life that have cleared the fog of youthful self-delusion. Take of it what you will.

• The first time I heard Nirvana played on a classic rock station. I was positive it was a mistake until some quick math made me wince. Damn, it qualified
• When I really eyed that motorized chair at Walmart. Nope, not yet.
• Realized that comfort outweighs style in footwear. Pretty much.
• The 80’s are to now as the 50’s were to the 80’s. Think about it. Especially when catching a re-run of Roseanne.
• The first time I lied about my age for no good reason at all.
• Picked more grey hair from the hairbrush than brown. It was neck-and-neck for a while, but grey has now taken the lead.
• When I first referred to college-aged people as “those damn kids.”
• When I pulled out my ID at a store for alcohol and the clerk laughed out loud. The sign says, “We Check ID If You Look Under 40.” Damn kids.
• Once I had dinner before 6pm. I skipped lunch, I swear.
• I’m closer to retirement than the start of my adult life. I really need to get a career…
• Mid-life crises make complete sense now.
• Pain can appear in any part of my body, at any time and for no particular reason.
• Movie theaters are loud. Really loud.
• Pepto-Bismol is the elixir of life.
• And the coup de grace, I uttered the phrase: “When I was a kid…” That one stung.

There are many more, but those immediately came to mind. Like I said, take of it what you will. I’m realizing that aging and age really comes down to perspective. So you should do your best to keep yours.