Rob Ford; it's almost funny..almost

I almost dropped my coffee this morning when I saw the continuing saga of Rob Ford splashed across the morning news. The embattled mayor of Toronto is now checking into rehab after being caught on camera smoking crack cocaine, again. We are witness to this man's life spinning out of control, and if it wasn't so sad, it would be almost funny. It truly seems like cross between a car wreck and an episode of Maury; it's difficult to look away.

Let's have a quick review, shall we?

In May 2013, Ford was filmed, by cell phone, smoking crack. The filmmaker was a small time gang member who, previous, actually bragged that he was going to "catch video of the mayor smoking rock." But the tom-foolery didn't stop there, Ford's new gang member friends actually convinced to take a group picture with them! Ahh, a photo-op of Mayor Rob Ford reaching out to the community. Pure voting gold. Or not.

This was soon leaked to the Toronto Star by the same guy because he wanted money to buy weed! No honor amongst druggies, I suppose. Unfortunately, he must have wanted a lot of weed because the two parties couldn't come to terms on the price. This, however, did not stop the Star from leaking the story and beginning a media storm.

Of course like any politician, he handled the problem head-on... and denied everything.

“Crack cocaine? Me? No way hoser!” (...is exactly what I picture him saying.)

Then when the city's gang task force found the video during a raid, it left no doubt and he had to rethink his strategy.

“Crack cocaine? Me? Well, I must have been drunk.” Seriously? That's better?

That was followed shortly by, “have I ever smoked crack cocaine before? Sure, a few years ago maybe. But am I addicted? No!”

Who the hell was this guy's p.r. man, Charlie Sheen?

So the city council gets upset but they can't legally fire him and he won't quit. Instead, they strip him of his power like in Superman II (except it's more Chris Farley than Chris Reeves and the mayor of Toronto doesn't have any real power.) 

What does the mayor do then? Well, of course he decides to continue to run for re-election! He must have skipped a chapter of the Marion Berry handbook that said “one has to first admit wrongdoing, then get sober, and then run for re-election.”

A couple of more instances of public drunkenness (which included a very poor and, somewhat racist, Jamaican accent at a fast food restaurant), a pushing match with a city councilman, and the mass exodus of his entire staff. No biggie.

And we then arrive to yesterday. Apparently Mayor Ford has not learned his lessons about cell phones and once again was digitally captured smoking crack cocaine. Wow. At least this time he has admitted to having a drinking problem and is going into rehab for immediate treatment. Oh yeah, and he has suspended his mayoral campaign as well.

Will he be back? I'm completely sure that we have not heard the last of Mayor Rob Ford. After all, it's not like Toronto can just Ashton Kutcher to play the part of mayor until election. Or could they?